Germany's Less Than "Perfect Life"

"So...Germany doesn't want to win this year's Eurovision Song Contest, right?  Levina's "Perfect Life" is DOA.

Germany's had a rough time at the last few Eurovision Song Competitions.  Since winning with Lena's "Satellite" in 2010 (which, hot take: I never really got the hype of), they've mostly been scraping the bottom (and in the last two years, being the bottom, with Ann Sophie's "Black Smoke" getting the dreaded nul points in 2015 and Jamie-Lee Kriewitz's "Ghost" only getting 11 points in 2016).  Maybe it's their selection method?  Unser Song is a marathon of a qualifier that takes place over the course of three hours with questionable cover song choices, multiple rounds of televoting, and (this year, at least) the possibility that a competitor may be facing themselves in the finale.  For all that effort, you'd think they'd have produced something more exciting than Levina's "Perfect Life":

After some weird voting shenanigans, Germany was very clear they wanted Levina to represent them, with her singing either "Wildfire" or "Perfect Life".  "Perfect Life" won the final vote, and while it's definitely the more energetic of the two songs, it's like saying a beige room is energetic.  Levina gives a performance that I'd say would qualify her to get through the first round of The Voice, but doesn't really do anything that feels worthy of winning the hearts of the rest of Europe.  If not for Germany's position in the Big 6, I dare say this would be an easy elimination from whichever semifinal it was slotted in.

There's still plenty of time to turn this ship around, but how?  The song is a bland Sia knockoff, so lean into that with the performance - I want a tiny German Maddie Ziegler giving something to be excited about.  At the very least, run Levina through a crash course in being a dynamic performer - if all she does is stand on stage to deliver this one in Kyiv, this is an easy last place for me given what we've already seen coming to the Eurovision stage."